Category Archives: 2012 – something ain’t right here…
After our second failed stint on Clomid, I returned to the doctor to hopefully get some answers.
To my horror, those answers apparently came in the form of Laproscopic surgery to take a closer look inside to hopefully find the cause of the problems and to do a bit of a clean out at the same time.
At this time I put the breaks completely. I was still not convinced my ferility problems were all that serious. After all, sometimes it just takes people a little bit longer than others, right? (hah!) I was also terrified at the prospect of having surgery and was not convinced it was necessary.
I told the doctor thanks but no thanks and decided to head down the natural therapies route for a while.
Now I’m going to skip pretty quickly over the next six months as, now, in the scheme of things for me, it seems a bit like time wasted. Not that I am saying natural therapies are a waste of time for everyone. I’m sure if my problems didn’t turn out to be so serious that this could have been quite a success and I am sure it is for many other couples. And I am still quite willing to use them, but will do so alongside conventional medicine.
All that really needs to be said is that after six months of charting temperatures, taking supplements and drinking special herbal concoctions that tasted pretty much like death in a bottle, I was no closer to my much longed for pregnancy.
Oh – the ‘natural ferility specialist’ did suspect I had an early miscarraige in this time. There’s a good chance I did, however I don’t really acknowledge it as such, as I never actually saw a positive test result, nor did I experience any of the emotion attached to losing a pregnancy. I almost don’t feel that it’s fair to say that I had a miscarraige, after reading the stories that so many women have. I can’t even begin to fathom that pain, and I guess that’s one of the few positives I can take from my journey – that I have never had to go through this. Anyway, I digress…
I decided to head back to the doctor, hat in hand, and ask to have the Laproscopy. Then, surely, I would have my answers and my baby.
try, try again.
Well that was pretty much the message at my next specialist appointment after the first three months of Clomid failed to produce the desired result.
The doctor upped the dose and sent me away for another 3 month adventure. And when I say adventure I actually mean train wreck.
At this point I have to acknowledge some of the blessings in my life – my very patient and understanding husband and friends. To say I was difficult during this time could not be more of an understatement. I was angry, emotional, highly sarcastic and easily irritated – just to name a few. Not a great combination when your job is teaching 13-16 year old kids. Wow – those poor kids.
My husband dealt with this in his way – being completely rational and logical. And although this drove me even more nuts sometimes, usually he was able to calm me down.
My friends dealt with it their way – by using humour. They pretty much made fun of me every time I lost it. Which again, was an effective way of getting me to calm down and see how unreasonable I was being.
The moral of the story – the time I spent on Clomid was awful. Not just because I didn’t get pregnant, but the side effects were a part of the process I’d much rather forget.
And lastly – sorry to all who put up with me in this time. I would not have said it at the time, but your patience and understanding was and is truly appreciated.
Early in 2012, we had actively started trying to no avail. I wasn’t necessarily expecting things to happen immediately, but I was hopeful it would happen within 6 months. I didn’t.
So off to the doctor I went to see if I could get a bit of a helping hand. I was referred to a specialist Obstetrician and looked forward to the appointment. Well, mostly. I was dreading the ‘fat’ talk as I was carrying about 15kg more than is ideal for pregnancy. But I prepared myself for it, knowing I needed to shift these troublesome extra kilos anyway, and off I went.
I warmed to the Obstetrician quickly, his awkward bedside manner strangely made me feel more at ease. After a rough medical history and some ultrasounds, he diagnosed me with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). This explained a lot about the irregular and painful cycles I had been having ever since coming off the pill. I was more relieved than anything else, as this was an explanation and a diagnosis that should be relatively easily overcome. I was prescribe Clomid for three months (drug to stimulate ovulation) and sent on my merry way. I had two friends who had fallen pregnant within their first couple of months of taking Clomid, so I felt happy and confident. And I didn’t even get the ‘fat’ talk!
Oh how naive I was!